I walk into a toilet at a local supermarket, before commencing the weekly "big shop". I'm at the urinal next to another gent when almost immediately, comedic style shitting noises begin to erupt from a nearby cubicle.

It sounds as though somebody is flogging a flock of angry ducks with a dripping wet towel.


The smell that begins to disperse throughout the Hall of the Porcelain Gods is what I imagine an Oxo cube production line fire to smell like.

We stand there and struggle to control our streams, as both of our shoulders begin to shrug. As I attempt to maintain myself (and stop myself from laughing aloud), every single fart joke I've ever heard in my entire life comes flooding back to me . . . 

I quickly shake the drips and exit the toilet (after washing my hands), visibly crying.

As I'm leaving, I hear a concerned party asking the shitter:

"You alright in there?"

Well, I for one would be astonished if the man is still physically well, and not crumpled in a faeces-splattered heap on the floor, with an arsehole like a comet crater.

The bottom line is, fart jokes are (and always will be) funny.